duminică, 25 octombrie 2009

Darkly everafter

She knew it. She had known it for some days now. She knew it from the tremble in his voice. From the way his eyes were turned to the ground all the time. From the water that never went away from them. She knew it.
As she got home, she set her bag on the table and then sat at the table, turning the stereo on. She smiled. A big, teeth-revealing smile. She started laughing and for some time she went on like that. Just as sudden, she stopped, biting her index fingers. Something perished all of a sudden inside her. The room seemed to crumble over her, walls darkening and going down on her.

The only thing that still stayed the same was the Nox Arcana song played. It gave her the impression of a music box, with the ballerina slowly rotating in the middle. It was like the song revolved around itself, but it revealed something new every second.
„Why am I laughing?” she asked herself. „Why am I so happy? Why am I so mocking?” Her lower lip started trembling as she bit it. „Why do I take joy in knowing your heart is broken? Have I come to hate you?” Nesting her head in her palms, she felt hot tears burning her eyes. The scream grew in her chest. „No! No!” she muttered between flows of tears. Again and again, she seemed to crumble from an inferno to another. „I can’t. I don’t want to.”

In the background the music seemed to cover her. Again and again, a sweet lullaby, a dancing ballerina that existed only in her mind. The same impression of a feeling that’s fading away only to return, again and again, a neverending rotation. She made up her mind. She would be there, again and again. The steps took her to the place she’d been so many times before, the place she’d lived such joyful times. She’d take his head in her palms and kiss his hair. And she’d listen. The mere memory of her remained in the room. She had gone.
And they lived darkly everafter.

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