Worst casting choices lately

I haven't really had the time to see any movies lately but the other day a friend dragged me to the cinema and made me watch a movie together with her. The movie, which was REALLY bad, gave me the idea for this here post. I will not tell you which movie it was until the end of the article, but since everyone was so freaking awful, it made me think of the wrong choices made by casting agents. And, by Odin, I've seen lots of those lately.

1. January Jones as Emma Frost (X-Men: First Class)

I know this is a pretty obvious one but, 5 months after seeing this movie and I still can't get over the god-awful portrayal. I mean, the comic book Emma is everything this cheap bimbo-ish portrayal isn't: she's smart, witty, independent, and indeed beautiful but not in the Playboy-bunny kind of way. The movie version is simply a puppet of Shaw's with no personality whatsoever and the charm of a rusty tea-spoon in a puddle of mud. You know the dumb-blonde with big boobs stereotype? Well, that's her. While this may not be entirely Jones' fault, the bland, completely charmless portrayal is. A mop would have fit the part better. 

2. Chris Hemsworth as Thor (Thor)

You'll say I have something against blonde Marvel characters. Nope, just the really poorly-portrayed ones. And while Hemsworth wasn't really Jones-bad, I can't say I liked anything about his portrayal of Thor. Ok, I get it, Ol' Thunder wasn't supposed to be the brightest crayon in the bunch, especially when confronting mischief-man Loki (brilliant Tom Hiddleston btw), but there is too much of "I am a redneck trucker who beats his wife and bounces bars in the weekends" in the Australian for me to like. There's nothing genuine about him, not even that smile spreading on his face every now and then. Oh well. 

3. Russell Crowe as Robin Hood (Robin Hood)

I used to love this guy. Despite this and that, The Gladiator still remains one of my favorite films ever and while an Oscar does not assure you a non-failure in picking parts (just as NEVER winning an Oscar doesn't mean you're not a great actor *cough* Peter O'Toole *cough*), I would have honestly expected more from the guy. I don't know what didn't work- probably the script had its faults, too, but to me, Crowe's version of Robin Hood was the worst one in quite a while (which means a lot, taking into account the fact that Kevin Costner starred god-awfully in the Prince of Thieves only 19 years before). I did get the whole "reimagining" yada-yada, but oh well, that is NOT how you portray Robin Hood. They tried before with King Arthur and failed. Although at least Clive Owen did give a bearable performance.

4. Penelope Cruz as POTC4's Angelica 

I have to start by saying that I totally love Penelope Cruz. She is one of the few actresses who are both really beautiful and really talented and her performance in Vicky Christina Barcelona totally blew me away. Her new character in the 4th Pirates of the Caribbean  movie however did not. While the movie itself does not really excel in any way, what it lacks completely is a pleasant female character- and, dear God, does that mean a lot when the only female character you've had in the first three movies was the boring, annoying Elizabeth Swann. Cruz's Angelica, which is intended to be a bit of a Jack Sparrow female version, and fails at that completely, can't become a character one can really like and maybe that is because- just like in the case of Blackbeard- the movie focuses next to zero on her background story. I never thought I would not like her character, but it was a pretty huge disappointment. 

5. The whole cast of the new The Three Musketeers

This was the movie I was speaking of in the beginning and which I so deeply hated. never in this last year have I had such a huge "Can I please die? Now?" feeling during a movie- I've yet to see Conan but I don't think that will change much. The new version of the novel seems to be written by someone who never actually read the book, but saw the '93 version starring Chris o'Donnell and the Dogtanian cartoons, then came out of a Pirates of the Caribbean movie and thought "hmm.. I could do that". Nobody in that movie seems to be one bit in the vein of the original Dumas story- not even Christoph Waltz, who is one of my favorite actors ever. Ninja Buckingham? Lara Croft-meets-Matrix Milady de Winters? Dear God.

I rarely predict these kind of things wrong and in 4 of the 5 cases before-mentioned my "prediction" was right before seeing the movie- the casting sucked. There are a few other things that smell fishy to me in movies yet to come. Here's to hoping I'm wrong.

Casting choices I fear for the future:

- Russell Crowe as Jor-El in Man of Steel/ Inspector Javert in Les Miserables- As I said before, I do like Crowe a lot but I don't find any of these two choices too flattering- I see Jor-El having a more graceful allure to him and Javert being a bit more of a sly, malicious character.

- John Cusack as Edgar Allan Poe in The Raven- don't get me wrong, Cusack's a dearie- but this is far from being his type of character. He can successfully play a hopeful lover (Serendipity) or even an overly-curious journalist (1408), but Edgar Allan Poe was too much of a dark, tormented soul for this kind of sweetheart. But then again, they are apparently turning Poe into an American version of Sherlock Holmes rather than filming his biography. And that itself makes me cringe.

- Rooney Mara as Lisbeth Salander in The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo- I might be a bit biased with this one, since I totally loved the original version and find this remake a bit too soon (if not altogether unnecessary), but from what I see, Mara lacks Noomi Rapace's sheer force, determinance and aura of mystery- she's just a goth girl with a blank stare. 

- Tom Hardy as Bane in The Dark Knight Rises- I may be wrong about this one but I for one do not really like Hardy, and Bane happens to be one of my favorite characters ever in the Batman series. There's a thin line between nailing it and going over the top here. And from what the suit looks, I fear it's the latter. Well, not Schumacher over-the-top, but still. Bane's a smart, sly, experienced character (grew up in prison, got a very good education nonetheless) and truth be told, I am not sure Hardy can pull that. I never was impressed with his acting abilities. Also, I am very curious if Nolan will pull the "Breaking the Bat" stunt. If so, we've got another thing coming.

- Kristen Stewart as Snow White in Snow White and the Huntsman. Because.